Crotch-o-Centric

(August 27th 2008)

This was the day that we were expecting to meet Mr. Wang, our boss, and I was eager to figure out the details of my new job. There was a knock on the door. I was in my preferred outfit, athletic shorts and sandals, and thought that I might want to be wearing something a bit … more … for the sake of a good impression. I put on normal human clothes, washed my hands, and then felt a drip on my toes. I looked down and saw a very awkward-looking spot (1) on my pants, right where you REALLY don’t want an awkward looking spot. In a country that looks for auspicious beginnings, this was not one of them.

After that, the day was pretty non-descript, and a little disappointing. We had an orientation meeting, but since three quarters of us had already spent some time here, it was a bit redundant. We also found out that we don’t technically have schedules yet. Shamrock says that they are trying to get bids from the various schools within the college, pimping us out for the highest bidder. At least we’ll know that wherever we end up teaching really wants us there.

We each went our separate ways for the afternoon, and then met back up for dinner at a hot pot restaurant. I think they wanted to impress us with how ‘foreign’ China is, and so they ordered the delicacies. We found ourselves dining on cow stomach (chewy) and duck intestines (non-descript). Oh yeah. And we also had cow …. er… bull … … man-parts. That’s right, I ate dong. Honestly, it wasn’t that bad. Chewy, but not bad.

Looking back, I apologize, a lot of this post seems to focus on the region between the knees and the navel, but seriously, this all happened in one day. That makes it OK, right?


(1) My sink hates me. Since it shares a faucet with the tub, it will oftentimes become the beneficiary of some shower water. Not to fear. It was apparently designed with this in mind, and there is a lip so the water doesn’t fall to the floor. Instead it sits on the rim of the sink, right at, you guessed it, crotch height. I almost wonder if some sadistic b-word found my information online and installed the sink so that it would be perfectly aligned with the area of my pants where I least want a water stain. If so, I would like to find him and kick him in his a-word. Oh yeah, I’m family-friendly.